Margaret & Jimmy Nicola & Joanne
My Weekly.
July 11th 2009
What happens when a parent dies or a relationship breaks down? These courageous grandparent s' stories offer fresh hope to others.
Susan, Jimmy and Margaret Deuchars’ daughter, had just given birth to her youngest daughter, Nicola, when she was diagnosed with aggressive breast cancer.
From her hospital bed, she made a heartbreaking plea to her parents: "I'm not going to make it. Please help Joe with the girls." "It was such a difficult time but we told her that we would always be there for them," says Jimmy. "We loved them and they were our last link to our daughter."
For three years after Susan passed away, Nicola and her older sister, Joanne, enjoyed the stability of their grandparents' home with regular visits. But then everything changed. Joe met a new partner and announced that he and thegirls were moving from Glasgow to Liverpool to be closer to her.
Margaret continues. "We were told we could see them every month, but then contact just slipped away.
For at least six months we did not see them at all, which broke our hearts. I could not believe anyone would do this. We were the girls' security. They loved their dad, but they relied on us." After six months seeing the children, the couple grew desperate. "We thought that was it — we were being denied contact altogether," says Jimmy.
Remembering the promise they had made to their daughter they hired a lawyer but were shocked to learn that they had no legal rights to see their grandchildren. "In the eyes of
the law, we were classed as irrelevant persons," says Jimmy.
The couple turned to the family court in Liverpool, who arranged a mediation session, with both sides getting the chance to air their views.
July 11th 2009
What happens when a parent dies or a relationship breaks down? These courageous grandparent s' stories offer fresh hope to others.
Susan, Jimmy and Margaret Deuchars’ daughter, had just given birth to her youngest daughter, Nicola, when she was diagnosed with aggressive breast cancer.
From her hospital bed, she made a heartbreaking plea to her parents: "I'm not going to make it. Please help Joe with the girls." "It was such a difficult time but we told her that we would always be there for them," says Jimmy. "We loved them and they were our last link to our daughter."
For three years after Susan passed away, Nicola and her older sister, Joanne, enjoyed the stability of their grandparents' home with regular visits. But then everything changed. Joe met a new partner and announced that he and thegirls were moving from Glasgow to Liverpool to be closer to her.
Margaret continues. "We were told we could see them every month, but then contact just slipped away.
For at least six months we did not see them at all, which broke our hearts. I could not believe anyone would do this. We were the girls' security. They loved their dad, but they relied on us." After six months seeing the children, the couple grew desperate. "We thought that was it — we were being denied contact altogether," says Jimmy.
Remembering the promise they had made to their daughter they hired a lawyer but were shocked to learn that they had no legal rights to see their grandchildren. "In the eyes of
the law, we were classed as irrelevant persons," says Jimmy.
The couple turned to the family court in Liverpool, who arranged a mediation session, with both sides getting the chance to air their views.
Eventually an agreement was reached and we were able to see Nicola and Joanne once a month and have them to stay during the school holidays "It was heart-breaking, but better than nothing," Jimmy says. "When we saw them again after all that time, wewere all crying. We met up halfway between Glasgow and Liverpool, at Carlisle Castle, and as they came running up to us with their arms outstretched, we both burst into tears."
After three years, Joe's relationship sadly broke up but visits became far more frequent and relaxed.
Now that Nicola and Joanne are older, how do they feel about their grandparents'struggle for access to them that they were too young to understand at the time? "I think they're proud. They appreciate the fact that we put up a fight for them," says Jimmy.
Grandparents Apart UK provides support, advice and counseling for grandparents in this situation, and campaigns for a change in the law to recognize grandparents more.
After three years, Joe's relationship sadly broke up but visits became far more frequent and relaxed.
Now that Nicola and Joanne are older, how do they feel about their grandparents'struggle for access to them that they were too young to understand at the time? "I think they're proud. They appreciate the fact that we put up a fight for them," says Jimmy.
Grandparents Apart UK provides support, advice and counseling for grandparents in this situation, and campaigns for a change in the law to recognize grandparents more.
Visit http://www.grandparentsapart.co.uk/ or call 0141 882 5658
No comments:
Post a Comment