Grandparents Apart UK

Grandparents Apart UK
"Bringing Families Together"

Saturday, February 21, 2009

Grandparents Apart Uk Revised Proposal

Grandparents Apart Uk Revised proposal for the ‘best interests of children’

Our revised proposal is considering the child in as much as not to have the protection of their grandparents in child neglect and abuse cases is devastating to them and not at all in their best interests. In this revised proposal we have listened to the government and strive to work towards their wishes as much as possible.

The governments of the UK have refused point blank to give grandparents legal rights of contact with their grandchildren. Their wishes are that grandparents should not have individual legal rights because the say it would cause more problems than it resolves solves and it is not the answer for every child. (Neither are their proposals) Further wishes of the government are that families get together without legislation and The Charter for Grandchildren was produced for that purpose but there has been no encouragement from the government and the situation is not improving and grandparents are being by-passed for strangers or like the wee girl given to two men when the she was afraid of men... This is not in the best interests of children.

We therefore propose that ‘The Charter for Grandchildren’ in Scotland should be adopted UK wide and ‘and be mandatory for professionals dealing with children thereby ensuring in the absence of one or both parents that the love and protective role grandparents can play is not wasted as is the case at present because grandparents are regarded as irrelevant (not important) persons and therefore rarely considered in practice.…Being mandatory for professionals would not be an imposition on the parents or family in general…If the governments were to adopt this as an example it would send a message of encouragement to families that grandparents can be a huge asset in the family and inspire mediation focusing on the best interests of the children when there is a huge rise in drug and alcohol abuse and amid the fear of the ever increasing cases of child abuse. What more does the government want? Is this the best interests of children or is it polotics?

It is generally agreed by governments and most organisations dealing with children that grandparents are very important in the family.. It is also agreed that they can be vital in the early detection of child abuse and in the care and stability of children when they are in a crisis situation especially in the middle of the night. That is if they are informed about it at all, being irrelevant persons, this is not always the case. If the crisis has been violent and very upsetting it would be in the best interests of the children to be settled as quickly as possible with someone who they know cares for them.

In any event, the following statements are proof enough that there is common ground to build on for the benefit of our children and the governments should act without delay.

Responses from concerned parties.

Children 1st. Response to PE 1156
Grandparents should be given the right of information about their grandchildren’s welfare.
Grandchildren’s Charter which is not about grandparents’ right to contact with their grandchildren, but about their grandchildren’s interests – these documents are available at:
CHILDREN 1ST is a strong supporter of this approach. The Committee may want to ask the Government about how widely these documents are used, and whether any further non-legislative measures are needed to help embed their use. Children 1st. Response to PE 1120

I totally agree that grandparents are often best placed to detect any kind of abuse or addiction that harms children and are often left picking up the pieces with no support when things fall apart. I think resolving that bit should be a priority (i.e. offering financial and emotional support) and then perhaps there’s scope to move on to greater recognition of the role grandparents play and how this could be established in law.
H. C. Woman’s Aids recent communication. Not necessarily the final word of W. A.

You are totally right: grandparents are among the most skilled professionals when it comes to looking after children. Grandparents can play an essential role in not only boosting their grandchildren's well- being. But also - as you rightly say - in detecting child abuse. MS Miller has kindly agreed to this quote in firm belief that grandparents have a crucial role to play in a child’s life in the over whelming majority of circumstances.
Maria Miller MP

Thank you for your email. I have much sympathy with your case and have
noted that my fellow Hampshire MP and frontbench colleague, Maria
Miller, has made a point which I fully endorse.
Gerald Howarth MP
Member of Parliament for Aldershot & Shadow Defence Minister

Making the Grandparents' Charter mandatory for professionals effectively means that you create legal duties - in other words individuals cannot enforce rights directly but can expect state institutions to follow the principles of the Charter. It might be worth you exploring the implications of this with the government.
Robert Brown Euro MSP

Former Justice Minister Cathy Jamieson MSP, also a former social worker, said
“Grandparents play a hugely significant role in children's lives. They are often the people who step in to care for children when parents can't cope due to drug or alcohol misuse and many find themselves struggling financially as a result. I would expect every social work department to look at what they can do to help in these situations, to ensure that the best interests of the child are promoted at all times. Supporting grandparents is often the best way to support the children."
Cathy Jamieson MSP Shadow Justice Minister

During my four year term as an MSP (2003-2007) I encountered many problems relative to grandparents and their grandchildren. I regularly raised the issue of 'Kinship Carers' in Parliament and complained about the lack of funding for grandparents who had their grandchildren given into their care by social workers.

The new proposals by the 'Grandparents Apart UK organisation' would act as yet another safeguard in the welfare and wellbeing of vulnerable youngsters. It is imperative that the Government acts now to help to reduce the chance of any more children becoming the focus of media attention due to abuse which has gone unnoticed by social workers and allow the Charter for Grandchildren to be mandatory by professionals.
This is a cost free simple way to help to bring to an end this new trend in society whereby vulnerable children become helpless victims. All too often there is drugs at the root of the problem. Social workers need all the help they can get therefore should welcome this new proposal NOW!
John Swinburne. Leader of the Scottish Senior Citizens Unity Party.

Jimmy Deuchars, June Loudoun.
Grandparents Apart UK
22 Alness crescent
Glasgow G52 1PJ
0141 882 5658

Friday, February 20, 2009

Update of my situation

My oldest son has phoned me. ( the mother stopped me seeing them since mid dec )
He has asked why I have not phoned him on a Sunday as his mother instructed me to.
I told him that I was not being told by her when I could phone.
He asked for his Xmas presents and his warhammer models.
His x-box is broken and he is bored.
I wonder if the mother has allowed him to contact me so as he can get stuff?
Anyway, I asked if he wanted to come through for a weekend and he went and asked his mother.
She said yes ( how nice of her )
I am supposed to see them in a fortnights time and have mixed feelings about it.
I do not want to go back to being abused by their mother and am in 2 minds about the whole thing.
She will not change and it is so much hassle because she is a monster.
He told me that he did not like me falling out with him ( I lost the plot after my works xmas lunch ) in mid december and that he did not like me calling his mother an A*hole and a bi*ch ( the drink was in and the wit was out ). I am a very bad boy!
The reason I went off the deep end was the culmination of the sh*te that was happening, things such as me going all the way up to Inverness to collect them ....only to find out that they wouldn't turn up and I had to go all the way back without them, this is after me booking time off work, buying train tickets etc. ( not the first time ) Stopping my girlfriend cutting their hair, totally ruining all the plans for Xmas ( it was my turn ),.
The list of sh*te goes on and on and it has steadily got worse over the last 6 years.
I know that it was so wrong to do that, he just pushed the buttons once too much!
How do I get it through to him that his mother is being so bad to me and is making life so difficult.
It won't be too long before I can stop the 6 hour round trip to inverness as they can be put on the train by their mother and I ( I would have to pay of course )
The alienation is definately setting in ( I can see it in my oldest boy ) he seems to think his mother is great!
It has been okay for the last 8 weeks and my life has had some calm in it.
I can see why some dads have given up fighting with the mother.
The fight with the system by me will never end and no matter what I will chase the politicians to the ends of the earth.
It is them that can affect the changes needed.
Any words of advice from you would be appreciated.
Hi all - I fully support what Grandparents Apart are doing and hope to see a day when the Law will change and they will have a legal right to have contact with their grandchildren.
It is ludicrous that Social Services have such power when the children in question haven't been abused - and ludicrous that they can then have the children adopted and virtually stop all contact - what sort of people do that? That is denying the children stability and the right to their extended family and their own flesh and blood. I am sure their mother and grandparents would feel happier about the adoption if they could still have some involvement.
If they were my grandchildren I would move Heaven and Earth to stop this!
Why should they not be allowed to see them - they are their flesh and blood and would not be here if it was not for them?! And how can it NOT be in the best interests of the children - what rubbish and who are they to decide what is in the best interests of the children - perhaps they should listen to those said children for once!

Also it is disgusting that a child can be taken and adopted wrongfully and that this decision cannot be reversed!
I wonder what kind of outcry there would be if this happened to a Social Worker or Politician - or anyone else in a position of power?
This is another Law that needs to be altered - so in the case like the one on this blog where it has come to light that there has been no abuse the children can be returned to their rightful parents.
These are my thoughts.


Monday, February 16, 2009

Where is everyone?

Hi everyone,
Is there anyone actually using the blog?