to all non resident fathers

by chick on Tue Feb 09, 2010 3:01 am

Gentlemen as allway's we do not mean we should be given priority over father's at no time have we stated this we are a forum for grandparent's and we have allways stated, after it was brought to our attention that in all cases provided that there is no danger to a child/ren both parent's should be involved in a there upbringing and pfcourse the same goe's for grandparents as well the reason i am writing this is to clear up any confusion that we should be given prority over fathers.it speak's for its self really as father's and of course some mother's have to work to support there child/ren plus both parent's also after working all week whether it be a mother bringing up a child/ren and visa versa off course. this is where grandparents can be both a valuble asset to both the children and the parent's so come on all resident parent's forget about the arguments he fighting you had. it doesent matter who' was to blame the children love you both if either parent is bad to there children , the oldrer kids will sort that out them selfs and wont want to go to the parent who is bad to them but please be honest and leave it up to them to choose not you. honest trust me you both will be happier with in yourselfs it' mean's you both can go out , for the sake off the children please be civil to each other for there sake and honest . you both will get on a lot better than you did when you were together please give it a try it will be a bit tense at the beginnig but it will ease off after the first two or three visit's And when the kids are happy it reflects on all so give it a go please for all our happiness and wellbeing all round.

and the father who phoned i hope this clear's up any confusion there was, and please phone me back or dont withold your number and i will phone you if you wish.

luv in friendship charlie and as usual please exscuse the spelling lol as long as you know what i am talking about i know i could use spellchecker but it takes me long enough to do my one finger typing lol.

THE DAY I WAS BORN

Today I am one day old, I have a wonderful loving mum and dad and how they play with me, I giggle so much.

Today I am one year old I still have a mum and dad who love and play with me
Now I am a little boy/girl and I go to school to learn and I have many friends and we play oh how we play and we are so happy, I wish my mum and dad could play together and be happy just as they were the day I was born.

Now I have to live with my mother because my mum and dad no longer play together, mum tells me daddy does not want to see or play with me any more, I do miss my dad, and I am not allowed any more to see my daddies mum and dad, I did love to play with my grandparents and they told me wonderful stories, so now I only have my friends at school to play with.

I have been told if I am not good social services could take me away and send me to a knew mum and dad, I wonder if they will play with me like my mum and dad use to.

I am confused. Should I have a new mum and dad, or stay with my mum, but I do miss my dad. Why cant mums and dads stay friends like me and my friends. My nights are so lonely dad use to tell me a bedtime story, but that has gone when dad left, I do beg mum to let me see my dad and grandparents, but I have stopped asking, because my mum hates my dad and his family, and I know I could be in trouble to keep asking, because you see I am only a child and I am not given a voice and under the
International human rights even as a child I should be allowed to say what I want and who I want to live with.

I am now a very big person, and when I did find my dad, I felt as he did not want me when I was little, I did not need him now, as I turned to leave, he said, please listen to me, to hear dad tell me why we did not play when I was growing up, bought tears to my eyes and my heart full of pain. Such a waste of my little years growing up with no dad. But now I have my dad and we play and giggle just like the day I was born.

Just a thought for all dads and grandparents

MAGGIE TUTTLE

this is a posting from the forum pleas feel free to comment

It is worth hanging in there.
by Jane on Thu Jan 14, 2010 11:52 am
Had a call this morning from a grandparent to say that she has regained contact with her two grandchildren, she and her son have not seen them for several years!It is so amazing to be able to share in her delight and happiness, so the morale is keep trying and look what can happen.All any of us want is to be able to share our lives with these special little people, and to give them all the love we have, nothing more nothing less.Lots of loveJane.x
Jane

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Re: It is worth hanging in there.
by charlesg on Thu Jan 14, 2010 1:44 pm
hi jane really good new's there is always hope but if you can advise the grandparents dont go back the way whats happened is in the past start again and i alway's advise anyone contact the resident parent/s offer the olive branch it does not matter what has happened bite your lip you are doing it for your grandchild/ren it's them that matter be civil for the sake off the child/ren and this goes for the non-resident father as well and my friend's you will never regret it and if you do and your turned down then at least you have tried and if your are turned donwn dont react violently tell them you are sorry that she/they feel that she/they cant do this for the child/rens sake but my door s always open and you have my number this may sound crazy . but i can garuntee you now if you do this aterwaeds you will feel glad that at least you tried it worked for us after 7 long years i took the advice jimmy gave me and that was charlie forget the past you are doing this for your grandson and not only have we got our grandson back he is now in contact with his son and ex dil we are all getting on great its a bit like walking on eggshells at first but we are all happy now and so is our lovely grandson dont get me wrong at 8 am in the morning and hes jumping on top off me saying come on granddad its time to get up its snowing outthere hurry and take me sledging you say to yourself what have i done lol but once you are out there you would not change it for the world tired and sore completely knackered. when see him laying there sound asleep after a great day its worth all the money in the world.PLEASE MY FRIENDS TRY IT YOU MAY THINK I AM TALKING A LOAD OFF UTTER RUBBISH BUT IF I HAD NOT DONE THIS I WOULD BE SITTING HERE SAD AND SAYING I WONDER WHAT HE GOT FOR CHRISTMAS I WONDER THIS I WONDER THAT PLEASE I AM NOT TALKING RUBBISH JUST DO IT AND DO IT NOW LEAVE OUT THE LAWYERS IF YOU WANT US TO MEDIATE ON YOUR BEHALF THEN WE WILL BUT IF YOU DO IT YOURSELF THEY KNOW IT COMES FROM YOU .THANKS FOR LISTENING CHARLIE VICE/CHAIRMAN GRANDPARENTS APART UK IF YOU AT LEAST TRY IT MAY WELL BECOME THE HAPPEST DAY OFF YOUR LIFE :D
charlesg

Posts: 91
Joined: Thu Sep 10, 2009 11:08 am
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hi all

if any member who has not registered on the forum, if they wish can join the forum also, it is
free, we are getting a lot off hit's and it's just so the browser's are getting information from both site's thanks listening.

luv charlie vice/chairman grandparents apart uk. ( charlesg on forum)

ALL GRANDPARENTS WANT FOR THE NEW YEAR IS THEIR GRANDCHILDREN

acknowledgement bhmgmarketing Ref: J1634 4 January 2010

Thousands of grandparents faced the New Year not seeing their grandchildren, as marriage break ups and custody battles leave them with no automatic legal right to contact. Children are losing contact with some of the most important role models in their lives, according to a leading Worcestershire solicitor.

But the grandparent/grandchild relationship has little or no legal protection, according to children’s advocate and partner at Harrison Clark Solicitors Andrew Caldicott.

“In legal terms, if a couple split up, grandparents have no automatic rights to see their grandchildren if the parent with custody decides to withhold contact,” he said.

“But in today’s society, when grandparents are often caregivers and act as a strong role model for children, this lack of contact could destroy one of the most significant relationships the child has.

“Whether it’s a beloved Nanny who babysits regularly or a Granddad who acts as a surrogate parent in the absence of a father figure, children affected by a parental split need the stability these links offer.”

In the case of a divorce or a relationship breakdown, unless the parent gives permission, grandparents have to apply for leave to seek contact with their grandchildren.

Before leave to go to court is granted, the courts look at the previous relationship the grandparents have had with the child and the family circumstances.

For example a grandparent who helps out with day to day care may have more chance of contact that one who sees their grandchildren one every few years.

If the go ahead to apply for leave is given, the court will then consider the application looking at how the contact would work within the existing custody arrangements.

“It’s not a simple process to apply for contact for grandparents and it can be further complicated by an acrimonious split,” said Andrew.

“But that’s no reason for grandparents to give up hope and not see their grandchildren.

“There are some things grandparents can do to make the process easier for everyone – the first being not to take sides.

“It can be difficult not to when your son or daughter is in the middle of a split, but it can make life very complicated for the child.

“Talk to your partner’s spouse and offer help if appropriate and encourage your child and their partner to try and work things out amicably, as it will make life easier for everyone.

“But if there are no lines of communication remain open then take legal advice at as early stage as possible.

“In my view, children need a strong relationship with both their parents and their grandparents and if at all possible, a divorce or separation shouldn’t get in the way of that.”

ENDS

Are huge charities worth the money we give them?

Subject: Re: Contacts witheld.

I NEVER give to any of the big charities any more. When I applied for help (I have been raped and made pregnant as a result, I am a child abuse victim) I was snubbed by the NSPCC, Rape Crisis, Shelter and many more.

What's even worse, I have found out that the NSPCC has links with the forced adoption industry!

I would not give any of them a single penny. In this way, I am helping save children from abuse! If you give to "charities" who are involved in the forced adoption industry, you are actually helping child abusers. That's the way I see it. I am a Christian and strongly believe in giving, but these are wicked times and there are some very bad people who are pretending to do good, but they are wolves in sheep’s clothing. Better to help people at grass roots level.

Cambridge News > Mum who branded child is jailed

http://www.cambridge-news.co.uk/cn%5Fnews%5Fhome/DisplayArticle.asp?ID=46968

Mum who branded child is jailed

A brutal mother who subjected six of her own children to an horrific
campaign of abuse has today been jailed for six years.

The 37-year-old woman beat the children, aged between four and 16, with
weapons including a belt, a broken coat hanger, and a meat tenderising
mallet.

She deliberately branded her 11-year-old daughter with a hot screwdriver
And scratched another with a knife and also left the two girls out on the
streets for three days.

The mother-of-eight's squalid home in Cambridge was never cleaned, the
children went unfed and the youngsters were exposed to harm from each
other.

She was found guilty of 15 counts of cruelty to a person under 16 and two
counts of witness intimidation on following a five week trial in November
at Cambridge Crown Court.

All the children have now been taken into care and during the trial it
emerged that social services had been aware of the family since 1999.

First Presbyterian Church honors grandparents

http://www.timesleader.com/community/First_Presbyterian_Church_honors_grandparents_12-05-2009.html

December 5

A Grandparents Celebration was recently sponsored by the Deacons of First Presbyterian Church, Franklin Street, Wilkes-Barre. Members of the congregation and their families and guests were treated to a buffet lunch, a special musical program by John Vaida, music director at the church, and a sharing of photographs of grandparents dating to the 1800s. Some of the participants, first row, are: Donna Sowcik and Trudy Olszewski. Second row: David Smith Jr., Jeanne Kravitz and Brianna Schraeder.

Another family solution?

Contact anon.

Firstly; when a couple separates instead of making for the family lawyer, they should in fact sit in front of a mediator who will assess the situation and generally offer 'both' parties £500 legal aid and a single court appearance, putting the onus on a couple to find a resolution to their difficulty and to agree to a contact and financial contract which is binding in law until the youngest child leaves full time education. This should then make 'both' parents equally responsible for child welfare and maintenance! Should either parent wish to take the matter back to court beyond this, they have to fund this themselves and this should focus their minds on getting it right first time and stop 'fee earning' solicitors exacerbating matter so they can bankrupt Dad, whilst plundering the legal aid purse indefinitely for Mum!

Secondly; No intervention by CAFCASS or other social services at this stage and once a timetable (that may be allowed to vary as the child grows) and finances have been agreed with a judge (not a court reporter) if he still has a concern then the judge should be empowered to contact the family GP and schools for a report on the health and well being of a child who would have a better understanding then a 'snap shot' taken by a social worker. This will then release the social service from a duty they are ill informed to pursue and normally results in them generating future work for themselves, when they should be reformed and working harder to prevent cases such as Baby'P', Victoria Climbe and Khyra Ishaq!

This should be regarded as law and the law is Parental Responsibility which should be enforceable with the prospect of a 6 month jail term minimal for 'either' parent if they break the terms of this contract for life! (Childhood is such a short span of time)

It would also be useful to inform a child at the age of 11 that both parents on the birth certificate are responsible for their children till the age of 18, it may then focus their mind as they entre the peer and social pressures of secondary education that under age sex could have a lasting effect on their lives, not only from a personal health stand point, but also the prospect of 16 to18 years of child care when they are at an age when they probably want to do something else.This should help them wait to become mature enough to take on such an undertaking. Also if a child was to commit a crime between the age of 10 and 16 with the current perceived immunity, their parents would face the court and be prosecuted for dereliction of duty under the care of their children with a fine or if serious enough prison.

The Tory party have also announced that they wish to make Grandparents and extended family the first port of call for child care rather then social services, who should be a last resort after the possibilities have been explored for a grandparents to take charge whilst a parent resolves their difficulties offering continuity and and stability at a fraught stage in a child's life something once again social services will never do so it is better they concentrate on more extreme cases as described recently by the director of Barnardos.

I really hope Gloria Hunniford, in her capacity as patron of the parents organisation, can encourage these bastions of commonsense and stability to consider the welfare of a grandchild , niece or nephew and in turn put right this God awful law that has blighted people for so long and in my view poses a greater risk to normal society then the threat of terrorism!

£3,000 for not rearing 50 pigs,

We are all joining. the best thing is we won't get swine flu


Rt Hon David Miliband MP
Secretary of State.
Department for Environment, Food and Rural Affairs (DEFRA),
Nobel House
17 Smith Square
London
SW1P 3JR

16 July 2009

Dear Secretary of State,

My friend, who is in farming at the moment, recently received a cheque for £3,000 from the Rural Payments Agency for not rearing pigs.. I would now like to join the "not rearing pigs" business.

In your opinion, what is the best kind of farm not to rear pigs on, and which is the best breed of pigs not to rear? I want to be sure I approach this endeavour in keeping with all government policies, as dictated by the EU under the Common Agricultural Policy.

I would prefer not to rear bacon pigs, but if this is not the type you want not rearing, I will just as gladly not rear porkers. Are there any advantages in not rearing rare breeds such as Saddlebacks or Gloucester Old Spots, or are there too many people already not rearing these?

As I see it, the hardest part of this programme will be keeping an accurate record of how many pigs I haven't reared. Are there any Government or Local Authority courses on this?

My friend is very satisfied with this business. He has been rearing pigs for forty years or so, and the best he ever made on them was £1,422 in 1968. That is - until this year, when he received a cheque for not rearing any.

If I get £3,000 for not rearing 50 pigs, will I get £6,000 for not rearing 100? I plan to operate on a small scale at first, holding myself down to about 4,000 pigs not raised, which will mean about £240,000 for the first year. As I become more expert in not rearing pigs, I plan to be more ambitious, perhaps increasing to, say, 40,000 pigs not reared in my second year, for which I should expect about £2.4 million from your department. Incidentally, I wonder if I would be eligible to receive tradable carbon credits for all these pigs not producing harmful and polluting methane gases?

Another point: These pigs that I plan not to rear will not eat 2,000 tonnes of cereals. I understand that you also pay farmers for not growing crops. Will I qualify for payments for not growing cereals to not feed the pigs I don't rear?

I am also considering the "not milking cows" business, so please send any information you have on that too. Please could you also include the current Defra advice on set aside fields? Can this be done on an e-commerce basis with virtual fields (of which I seem to have several thousand hectares)?

In view of the above you will realise that I will be totally unemployed, and will therefore qualify for unemployment benefits. I shall of course be voting for your party at the next general election.


Yours faithfully,


Nigel Johnson-Hill